A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.  Feeling rather hungry, the cannibal sat down and looked over the menu:

Grilled Tourist: $5
Broiled Missionary: $7
Fried Explorer: $9
Baked Democrat or Republican: $150

The cannibal called over the waiter and asked, “Why is there such a price difference for the Politician?”

The waiter replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one?  They’re so full of crap, it takes all morning!”

More Political Humor

Joe Wilson was one of only seven members of the South Carolina Senate to vote to keep the Confederate battle flag flying over the state house in 2000.  Now he has one other grand accomplishment to add to his distinguished resume: Wilson shouted “you lie” during Obama’s speech to Congress.  Of course, that statement is a bit ambiguous in a room full of professional liars.

Saturday Night Live has apparently figured out why Wilson made his historic outburst:

Walt Handelsman has produced a catchy musical animation that describes the global recession and government bailouts in a parody of West Side Story.

Wor$t $lide $tory: A Musical Revue

Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the U.S. Capital.  The first contractor told the Congressman, “I figure the job will run about $900.  That’s $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

The second contractor announced, “I can do this job for $700.  That’s $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

The third contractor leaned over to the Congressman and whispered, “$2700.”

The incredulous lawmaker asked him, “How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The contractor smiled and said, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the second guy to fix the fence.”

More Funny Stuff

Where were our fiscally-conservative Republicans when President Bush and the U.S. Congress took a budget surplus and turned it into a $1 trillion budget deficit, and doubled our national debt from $5 trillion to $10 trillion?

The Republican concern for fiscal responsibility in the recent budget debate rings hollow.  I think it’s clear that NONE of our elected officials on either side of the aisle have any clue what it means to balance budgets and be financially responsible.

Check out this political cartoon

Brad Pitt can make any woman hot, even our esteemed House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi:

It’s official, trillion is the new billion.  The U.S. Congress is no longer spending our taxpayer money in terms of a mere ten digits.  With the recent flurry of government bailouts and stimulus packages, we are going to need another three zeros to make sense of it all.

One trillion dollars; it’s a number that few people can comprehend, let alone your standard nine digit calculator.  There have been attempts to put this number into perspective before.  A trillion one-dollar-bills laid end to end would reach the sun; or you spend one dollar per second for 32,000 years; or one trillion dollars in pennies would weigh as much as 2,755,778 Argentinosauruses (the largest known dinosaur).  Fanciful as this may be, the real story behind one trillion dollars is in its economic impact.  Mint.com investigates what one trillion dollars can do.

One Trillion Dollars at Mint.com

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon got off to a quick start as Fallon slow jams Congressional news with his band, The Roots:

“Her skirt was very short, and Josh found himself mesmerized by her perfectly shaped, silken legs with kneecaps that reminded him of golden apples.”

– excerpt from Senator Barbara Boxer’s (D-California) novel, A Time to Run

Editorial review by Publisher’s Weekly:  “The three-term senator from California offers a debut novel to relate ‘a story I had long wanted to tell.’  Aspiring political activist Josh Fischer and aspiring journalist Greg Hunter are best friends and roommates at 1970s Berkeley: Josh is dark, sensitive and liberal; Greg is blond, gregarious and leans right.  When the two meet Ellen Downey, a petite redhead with a steely determination to make the world a better place, romantic entanglements ensue, with Ellen ultimately marrying Josh shortly after graduation.  When Josh dies during his Senate campaign, Ellen assumes his candidacy and scores an upset victory…”

Who knew Boxer had a bit of Jacqueline Susann in her?

From Late Night with Conan O’Brien:

Toyota is developing a miniature environmentally-friendly car that’s powered entirely by a rechargeable battery.

Meanwhile, Detroit is still hard at work on an SUV that runs on rainforest trees and panda blood.